


Love Is Friendship Set On Fire

by Music_Chick



Category: Digimon - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Romance, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, POV First Person, Post-Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution Kizuna (Movie), Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29880297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Music_Chick/pseuds/Music_Chick
Summary: The moment Matt walked back into Sora’s life, she was reminded that love is like an advanced version of that feeling a person has with a common friend. It's a scary, and alluring adventure waiting to be explored with someone who's willing to be vulnerable as well – something Sora wasn't ready to do anytime soon.
Relationships: Ishida Yamato | Matt Ishida/Takenouchi Sora
Kudos: 8





	Love Is Friendship Set On Fire

Ten years ago I was texting a friend I used to date in middle school as I was getting ready for work.

"I forget. Where did you move to again?" Matt Ishida asks me.

I told him.

Eight hours later as I'm home from work cooking dinner, there's a knock at my door. It's him. What an idiot. Anyway, we married three years afterwards.

To be honest, I'm still annoyed he got away with it.

Let me back up.

As we all entered our twenties, the group of us struggled to juggle expectations, school, work, and friendships. I failed at keeping everything in order miserably. Part of me was tired of taking care of everyone. I wanted to be selfish and take care of only myself. I deserved it after all - at least that's what I kept telling myself. Why did I have to keep following destiny? I did my time. I was ready to start my next phase in this world and figure out where I belonged.

The consequence of trying to fit my life in a neat little box I created for myself was life passing by leaving me alone in the dust:

Joe was reaching his dream. It's what he always wanted from the time I first met him.

Mimi was still discovering what she wanted to do as Izzy helped her set up her online store, but she definitely had a nose for business.

Izzy, well, he pretty much figured his life out when we were in high school and at that time was still full steam ahead.

Kari, TK, Ken, Yolei were in college full of hopes and dreams set on their majors already.

Even Cody, who was in his last year of high school, was absolutely sure he was going to be a lawyer.

Davis, it didn't take long for his noodles to catch fire soon after Menoa was defeated. People couldn't get enough of them, and if I have to be honest, I always have some in my pantry to this day.

Tai eventually narrowed down an idea to somehow make International Business work with the Digital World. I always admired how he kept hope to one day find a way to bring our Digimon partners back while bridging a way to bring peace to both worlds.

Matt decided to go to graduate school for Aerospace Engineering after all. It was totally opposite from the teenage musician he once was, but I could sense a burning love grow for the field anytime he reached out to me.

So where did that leave me?

Alone in a dark corner honoring my mother's wishes in carrying on tradition. Alone, without Biyomon and my friends. Alone, gasping for air; suffering in silence. Too prideful to admit I desperately wanted, no, needed my friends. Too ashamed to reach out.

I'm still ashamed of the last words I yelled at Biyomon with. If only I knew that would be the last time I saw her before she disappeared in front of my eyes, I would have hugged her a little longer. Listened more. Told her I loved her, not that she was annoying.

Biyomon was anything but annoying.

I bet she disappeared feeling just as alone as I felt, and there was nothing I could do about it. Being alone had become my penance.

That brings us back to when I answered Matt that fateful January morning. Other than Mimi, he always made sure to reach out to me.

It didn't matter to him that I moved away after I lost Biyomon without telling my friends where I went. No matter the internal struggle I had of wanting to break away from every tie of the Digital World, no matter my insistence of following through with my penance, to Matt it didn't matter. Matt was persistent, and secretly I wanted him to keep trying because for once I wasn't the one giving my all. For once, someone was reaching out to me.

I felt selfish, but loved.

So you can imagine how overjoyed, annoyed, overwhelmed, and not worthy when he showed up at my doorstep with a chocolate cake and beer.

"To celebrate us reconnecting our friendship," Matt insists.

I knew what I was getting into when I gave him my address. I knew there was no going back when he took his shoes off. It was a moment of weakness, but the best decision I ever made in my life.

My kitchen table ended up with two dinner plates, four empty beer bottles of Sapporo, and a chocolate cake with a quarter of it in our stomachs.

The next night? Another surprise visit. This time pizza, gooey, soft chocolate chip cookies, and chocolate milk.

"Because I care about you," he says. "Chocolate is your favorite and weakness. It's okay to be weak with me."

My kitchen table found itself with food before I had time to reconsider. My lips were taken hostage by his in the heat of the moment. He found himself facing the street in the next beat before he could take his next breath in mid-confusion.

I don't think he understood when he set out on this romantic mission it would take a while to convince myself it was okay to be selfish, that I was worthy of his attention.

Wouldn't you know, he showed up again the following night, even after I ignored his texts and calls. I gave him a gentle, yet firm talk that we weren't getting back together.

"That's fine! Friendship it is," he concedes.

But then he kept showing up night after night. He didn't mind that I didn't find myself worthy of attention. He didn't mind that I was still struggling with wanting to break away instead of honoring my mother's wish. He didn't mind that I couldn't fit in that perfect box I kept trying to shove myself inside.

Each night he wormed himself inside my apartment little by little until it was enough to be able to close the door behind himself.

"I like that you're not perfect," Matt reassures as my body magically found itself drawn into his warm, comforting hug.

Matt Ishida was still the same with me then as he was back in middle school. When he was with me, he was quiet; a different kind of quiet. The kind that was comforting and patient. He could match wits with my vicious rhetoric, and silence my doubts with one kind smile. I was the fool to break up with him long ago to focus on my studies. To think he never gave up on me after all that time.

That annoys me even more to this day.

Actually, I think the neighbors were more annoyed, that same night that we hugged, until around two in the morning with my squeaky bed frame. He had abs and his cologne was to die for. When he offered to fix the frame after we'd wake in the morning, I kicked him out. Love? Stability? I wasn't ready for that.

For some inexplicable reason, he didn't care that I wasn't ready. He showed up at seven that same morning with coffee, muffins, and a loving, patient smile. I found Matt entirely baffling that day.

I still do.

Before I knew it, this man made himself at home with my kitchen. An extra toothbrush sat on my bathroom counter. My laundry washed after a long day at work. That cobweb that hung in a high corner I've been meaning to get to inside my laundry room swept away. A broken outlet replaced. He never pushed to fix my squeaky bed frame.

The neighbors definitely hated me.

Still, after all that, I refused a label...but I wanted that label. Even after I asked him why he even bothered:

"Because I love you," he says, "and I'll wait for however long it takes for you to accept that."

Yeah. The neighbors really hated me after that.

Let's get one thing straight. I didn't need Matt to "fix" me. I needed Matt as a reminder in life that no one wants to be alone in this world; that if I was suffocating in that box, there was always a way out. All he did was offer a hand, and all I did was reach for it. It sounds so simple, but sometimes the most simple things in life are the hardest to do.

So you must be asking yourself what did it take for Matt Ishida to convince me to be his girlfriend?

Four months later on an unusually warm May night, after another long day at work, after I had showered and ate dinner in silence, after seeing the laundry still piled and that his toothbrush was still dry, my apartment felt suffocating. He wasn't there, so my air was gone. I found myself knocking at his door with buffalo wings and Sapporo beer at eight-thirty in the evening.

"Missed me that bad?" he smirks, wiping his tired eyes.

Jiminy Christmas, he was gorgeous with those reading glasses. Turns out he was trying to get in some last minute studying for finals, not avoiding me like my self-conscious brain kept lying to me about.

I washed his laundry. Washed the dishes. Swept. Mopped. Fussed at him for neglecting his studies for me.

"You needed me. That was more important," he says it like I should've known.

Needless to say, I found out his bed frame didn't squeak. I had never let him spend the night since our new kind of friendship started, but that night he had shown me the opposite. That was probably the first night in a very long time that I had slept so soundly. So loved.

When I awoke early the next morning, there was a note on his pillow with a spare key taped to it. The note said he had left to take his finals. The key was for me and whenever I was ready to keep it, I could. I was welcome to stay or leave. Either way, he'd find me tonight and cook us a feast for dinner to celebrate passing his finals.

Oh, let's not forget he threw in an "I love you - like a friend. Sort of as a friend."

That trust. That patience. That sincerity.

I wept.

I was too flustered to stay, but I did make him lunch and placed it in the fridge with a note left on its door letting him know of the meal. My new key was placed on my keyring.

Ran to work.

Changed my mind halfway there, and ran back to Matt's apartment.

Why was I still trying to fit in that box? Why?

"Why create flower arrangements when you really want to design kimonos?" Matt asks me that night I stayed over before we drift to sleep.

Because of tradition, I admitted out loud for the first time in a very long time. Because of honor to the family and the right thing to do. Everyone had their place in the world and this was where I was told I belonged.

"Screw that. Quit. It's not selfish to enjoy a career that you want. I'll be your emotional support when you do. I'll help you figure out what school to go to."

Some people can't remember the exact moment they fell in love. I do. That moment. Right there.

Three calls. Two texts. All five ignored seeing they were from my mother as I sat on Matt's couch gathering the courage to do what needed to be done. The cardboard box I laid in was being torn apart piece by piece as Matt had slowly made a home in my heart offering a hand, waiting for me to take it.

After a heated conversation over the phone around noon, I was jobless and free. Free of tradition. Free of expectations.

Most importantly, I could breathe a little bit easier. I had looked up from the box I was in and saw all that was left of the box this whole time was the bottom half. I was the only reason for staying in it, not the box.

I ran out of things to clean in his apartment. Pretty sure I gave myself whiplash watching the microwave clock, regardless of having no idea when he'd return home.

When I got his text around one in the afternoon that he was heading home, my heart leapt with joy. I craved to breathe in fresh air again.

Don't forget. We were still "friends" at this point. As much as I wanted that label, I was too bashful to bring up the topic.

Solution? Make a feast in his apartment before he got home. Spoil him instead. Help him feel all the love he showered me with. I hoped with actions he could figure it out and we could skip over that label talk.

Then again, maybe it was better to keep things the way they were between us? I was having a hard time finding the will to leave the bottom-half box. Was it really okay for me to be happy? At least staying in the box, life was planned out and mundane. I was running out of air again. I didn't need him to function at that moment, I wanted him - Something I didn't realize at the time, which was a huge step for me.

He beat me to the apartment with just as many groceries as he bought. What a waste of money.

I fussed at him. I wasn't worth all the energy he was putting into and that he should return the groceries. I had decided I would be the one to cook us a feast for lunch instead of dinner, not him, and he wouldn't interfere.

No, I wouldn't tell him why I was home with him when I should be at work. Yes, I ignored that ever-growing smile on those gorgeous lips when I wouldn't answer if I quit, why I stayed, and if I added my spare key to my keyring.

Don't ask when you can clearly see the answer. Annoying. So annoying.

I couldn't look him in the eyes as he called my name several times. In my defense, I was chopping an onion - I think. Could've been a carrot. My eyes were tearing, so let's go with the onion.

Matt matched the vicious rhetoric thrown his way. My lips were taken hostage by his again. My knees betrayed me and I found myself picked up and laid on his bed.

"You're impossible," Matt growls in frustration, breaking the kiss as he climbs on top of me.

So what? Wasn't it fine to be weak with him, I ask him. That's what I was. A weak, imperfect person who was going to make him that feast. Not to mention I wasn't done paying my penance, I added, so all this fuss he was making was a waste of time.

That frustrated stare he gave softened. His silky blonde hair fell in his eyes and it took everything in me not to run my fingers through it.

Who was I kidding? I definitely ran my fingers through his hair. Still couldn't look him in the eyes though. Why would I? I was too ashamed for making a mountain out of a molehill. All this attention I was receiving, as much as I craved it, it still felt overwhelming. It was better to take the attention off of me and direct it back at him.

There was that kind smile again. The one I mentioned earlier that could calm all my doubts.

"This 'friendship' that we have?" Matt says cupping my right cheek and softly rubs his thumb against it. That kind smile grew even more. "It's not that different than love, you know. Love is friendship set on fire, like an advanced version of that feeling a person has with a common friend. It's a scary, and alluring adventure waiting to be explored, but you have to be willing to be vulnerable as well.

"You're going to have to get used to me spoiling you because I'm not going anywhere. After all these years of taking care of everyone else, including me, it's time for you to be taken care of. And this penance business you keep going on about since Biyomon, stop. Biyomon loved you. She knew you loved her too. "

Romantic, yeah? Hold on. Wait for it.

"Can we keep this fire burning?" Matt asks, resting his forehead against mine and closes his eyes. His thumb keeps gently rubbing my cheek. "All you have to do is say yes."

Better believe I said yes.

I also took in a deep breath of his fresh air that I had been craving all day. I wasn't alone anymore.

This only worked because in no way was his ego tied to succeeding with a grand gesture. He had enough self-confidence to shoot his shot, but crucially, had the patience and persistence until I was ready to take his hand to use it to step out of what was left of that bottom-half box.

It was shockingly attractive.

One month later, I moved in. Ditched my squeaky bed frame. It was nice to know our neighbors had no knowledge we existed, though if his sturdy bed could talk it would say otherwise.

True to his word, we found a university for my field and he was my emotional support. The day after I graduated he proposed. A year after marriage, I was pregnant. Today we have two beautiful children and I wouldn't change it for the world.

I'm convinced that people come and go in life for a reason, but it's once in a lifetime that someone can change everything. If I had never picked up my phone that fateful morning or chose to not give him my address, that box I created for myself would have eventually been taped shut with a few small holes cut out to breathe from.

Matt Ishida is still an annoying idiot, but he's my annoying idiot that helps me to breathe every day.

As I lay next to him each night I'm reminded that there is only a limited amount of time set for all of us on this planet. Big or small, I count it as our little infinity; an infinity of our fiery love and friendship and intimacy we share. A passionate, selfish love that I tell myself every day I'm worthy of experiencing.

Even though my adventures as a Digidestined are over, this new, alluring adventure with my husband and family has only just begun. The best part about it? I'm not alone anymore.

Well, then again, looking back, I guess I was never alone in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this oneshot, please leave a simple review or kudos :) Writing is a fun hobby for me and to hear what you enjoyed would make my day. More oneshots of other ships coming soon, so stay tuned!


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